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Ted Neeley Beard
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One day, during a fine TNB jam session, the boys decided to try and jam something into existence. And faster than you can say "That is almost a Ted Neeley beard, but it is missing the little spots on the side," they had jotted down some chords and had somewhat of a structure to it. Fast-forward a couple of weeks. Out of the Great Shoebox from the days of Caswell King comes a page of lyrics called "Gyrate." The lyrics fit perfectly with the song, plus they add a few goofy one liners here and there. With a crazy new pedal, Jesse is hungry to use it, so a weird-sound-effects intro is added. Et voilą!

(S. Bannister, P. Gorman, J. Griffith, O. Jarda)
A lightbulb darkened my train of thought
Made me ponder
Do sightless people dream at night?
Do angels sin and lose their flight?
I got a pain in my bladdier
Felt a sting but I didn't fear
Who's ever heard of a red-nosed reindeer?

Billy bumps and Billy jumps,
Billy was a goat
Paranoid the super called
To yell at me some more
Shouting his quotes of war
Citing his words of yore
Screaming his selfish rants
That never seem to end

The men attacked with jumping jacks but
Summer saults prevailed
To this day I remember
I could not surrender
To his claims of peace and war
You'll never learn, my son
How dare you question me!

I see London, I see France,
I can see your underpants
About a care that didn't start
Tires made of glue
That ran on an empty quart
Whatever shall I so?
That drained all the cash I had
And made my friends all go mad

Copyright © 2002 Beardsongs Inc.